Sunday, December 07, 2014

Life as a Father to be...

It has been yet another bout of silence as has become a sad habit of this blog, though this time it has been one of profound change. Around the day of my birthday (June 7th) my wife surprised me with a positive pregnancy test and informed me that I was to become a father. After my last post in July, we both waited patiently to insure that the pregnancy was in fact that and not a chemical one as we had found on multiple other occasions. Now it is certain, and I have been struggling to make peace with my inner demons and career as I try to make this world a better place for my soon-to-be son.

Five months after discovering that we were to be a family, we are now within the small stretch to our first days together as Mother, Father, and Son. The child's name will be Dieghan K Lorando, with the K being bounced between Kristofer (my lovely wife +Katie Lorando wants to be reminded of the best man she has ever know, though I am unsure I am comfortable with it) and Kieran, a name that has been familiar and to our liking since we first started looking through baby name books and websites. That, and DK makes for awesome initials. Our boy so far is looking extremely healthy, and showing signs of taking after her mother quite significantly.

Sadly, as is usually the case when I adjust my life to such changes, my health has started to fall into question as doctors try to determine if the problem has to do with my heart or my mind. As a person who is very philanthropic, empathic, and as compassionate as I am these things are often a frequent problem as I neglect myself as I attempt to help others. With a child on the way, I've had to seriously put into question my goals, dreams, and ability to uphold a standard of living that will now accommodate a child.

It is my new hope that I'll be able to decide the direction I wish to take in life, and what that means for my wife and new son. My silence this time has been long though it was necessary to get my life's priorities back in order. Valanas, for those who follow along, will still be the for-front of my mind and a continual work in progress. What was once a FATE Accelerated piece will soon instead be a cookie-cutter fictional world that players may adapt to any game system, fictional work (including my own), or simply to explore and enjoy. It will remain my hope to keep the world evolving and open as my contribution to the world, and when life presents itself in such a way allow me to put together the fictional Novel Trilogy that I hope some day that I'll be able to do.

Eyes have been set for NaNoWriMo of November of 2015 and trying to figure out what I'll need to be prepared and practicing small fiction to that point. Life itself has been set to possibly change drastically, with a high level of uncertainty as is usually the case.

In any event, I'll be hopping between my blog and Google+ in semi-regularity as I usually do. I hope that the coming holiday season brings many good tidings. Here is to hoping that even despite my shortcomings I'll still be a good father and contributor to our home in Indiana. Cheers readers!